Five day Insomnia Binge

So I was on the Internet talking to Stephanie last night for quite some time, its kind of ridiculous how much we are online. To me that's time well spent. Anyway what I'm getting at is we said our goodbyes for the night her afternoon, and then she googled my screen name. That's when you know its a good relationship right, when your counterpart googles your name. So she googles my name and finds all these super old websites of mine when i was a band guru...aka METALLHEAD. My point is I googled hers too, and saw all these pictures of her when she was a sophomore in college and jessus it looked like a blast. So that's what Ive been missing.. Then I saw her spring break pictures 2006 and guess what I said to those. "Oh hey I was deployed then too." What a bummer ha ha.

We walked down her memory lane for a good hour and it was a blast, then I realized i need to take way more picture especially when i come home.

As for the Insomnia...Its been 6 days now and I've had about 7 hours of sleep with the most consecutive time this afternoon. And that's only because I crashed....COMPLETELY DESTROYED. But at night I find myself not going to sleep after visiting with Stephanie. I kind of just wander around our compound looking up at the sky wondering what a normal life would be like. But isn't this my normal life, maybe I'm just not meant for a desk. I'm thinking of all these huge decisions to make in the next yr or so...and its not driving me crazy I love it..Each night I'm surviving off of single hours of sleep. Not a good nights sleep to say the least. But when i do sleep its the best dream you could possibly imagine where no one questions what you are doing no one puts in their two cents. Ugh I;m rambling again. A lot of ppl on this side of the lake say I use the Internet to much, I say well its not my fault Iraq has pulled me so far away my love it tends to make me sick sometimes that i have to settle for a video box for a few hours when all I can think of is what the hell I'm gonna say when i see her.

Back to Insomnia - I wander mouth dry, muscles fatigued, mind weary. Questioning everything I've ever done. This is a daily occurrence for at least 15 minutes..So what 15 times 365. So that's 5475 minutes out of the 21st year of my life dedicated to thinking of what I could be doing....MAN 4 days of thinking that's intense...

Insomnia draped in a little MOON dust.

The best part about Iraq is the stars/moon here's a picture of a good friend of mine..Palmer, a big Brooding black man with a semi-pessimistic outlook on life. I'd say that makes him work just a little harder then most people. Well this is a picture of him with night vision on up against a moonlit backdrop..Pretty damn sweet picture right. I get lucky from time to time.

MooN Dust a floating. Imagine all that being sucked into your lungs. And sometimes you feel the grit in your teeth...That's better then smoking ha ha.

What I'm getting at is, it's so hard to sleep soundly at night when you so far away from all you know when in turn this is becoming all I know. And its frightening, sometimes I want normalcy. But then I realize if it wasn't for 4 yrs in the army at the tender age of 22 and two deployments to a desert forgotten about commercial airlines "they forget to fly over Iraq sometimes ha ha" I would have never run into my driving force I've given up once before "You Know" but its all looking up. And so I say if it takes another 2 deployments and another lifetime to run into her again. I say bring it on. You are worth every second...I promise you that.

8 Days and we get to say we...not I